urbancatfitters:

i wonder how people describe me when they’re talking about me to someone who’s never met me

(Source: urbancatfitters, via gaybabyholmes)

officialwhitegirls:

*wakes up from coma*

mom: great now that you’re awake you can do those chores i asked you to do 

(via gaybabyholmes)

mmmcookies22:

percussiveadventure:

As a queer guy I get a confidence boost from republicans insinuating that my mere existence has the power to destroy a country

that’s the spirit

(via gaybabyholmes)

atypicalblonde:

one time I overslept and my mom came into my room to wake me up and said “you had better get up or else you’ll be rushing”. I wanted to say “if I’m rushing then so be it” but since I was still half asleep my mind changed “rushing” to “Russian”, I rolled over and said “if I’m Russian, soviet” and to this day it’s the best joke I’ve ever made

(via mamaleh6994)

reyairia:

reyairia:

A gameshow that forces male nerds into the unnecessarily sexualized outfits female video game characters have that they defend as “practical,” and then makes them do agility training

this had sixty notes last night

SIXTY NOTES

(via mamaleh6994)

spoopyphilia:

bloodyoathmate:

My mum’s friends at work are having a baby and their last name is watts so they were trying work out a name for it, i suggested 60 and they both looked confused so i said maybe 20 would suit them better 

image

(via standingupontheshouldersofgiants)

slytheringsnake:

my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”

and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered

"Maybe i need to use the sleep"

(via standingupontheshouldersofgiants)

justmargaret:

hiddenhogwarts:

After Fred died George developed a line of Cheering Chocolates, Nightmare Nougat and Memory Mallow for himself and others with PTSD. 

Eventually he expanded the line to Safe Silent Sparklers for those with sound sensitivities or triggers and Trigger Talismans which vibrate and block out sound when a trigger is said so that the wearer can leave. 

HEADCANON SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED, AND ACCEPTED.

(via theodette)

orlesiantrash:

lifeofaseamonster:

what

It’s a turkey

funkybug:

snailofficial:

agendr:

but how would a SNAIL react to the friendzone

The friendzone is a myth perpetrated by misogynists who use it to shame their female friends into sex. I am absolutely disgusted by it.

snails are truly upstanding citizens

(via fake-red-head)

jaclcfrost:

counting-sinful-stars:

jaclcfrost:

i just want a deadpool movie

And all that would happen is him jumping through different superhero movies. Interacting with the others and annoying them mercilessly

i’d pay for tickets for that. i’d fund that directly

(via fake-red-head)

fat-lasts-longer-than-flavor:

cuadradonegro:

obscurewings:

I made a political cartoon for English class about issues in school
It focuses on how teens are expected to make career defining choices with barely any experience, and also how parents often take so much authority that their child’s decision is not actually their own
If this gets some notes then I’ll make a colored version

thank fucking you. this defines me a few years ago really accurately

this