besturlonhere:

killallskellys:

I was on a swedish animal shelter site, and google decided to translate the names of the dogs.

that’s nice
dealanexmachina:

miketysonismahomegurl:

has anyone posted this yet because this is pure gold

Thank you, Matilda.

urbancatfitters:

i wonder how people describe me when they’re talking about me to someone who’s never met me

(Source: urbancatfitters, via shippingboat)

officialwhitegirls:

*wakes up from coma*

mom: great now that you’re awake you can do those chores i asked you to do 

(via shippingboat)

mmmcookies22:

percussiveadventure:

As a queer guy I get a confidence boost from republicans insinuating that my mere existence has the power to destroy a country

that’s the spirit

(via shippingboat)

atypicalblonde:

one time I overslept and my mom came into my room to wake me up and said “you had better get up or else you’ll be rushing”. I wanted to say “if I’m rushing then so be it” but since I was still half asleep my mind changed “rushing” to “Russian”, I rolled over and said “if I’m Russian, soviet” and to this day it’s the best joke I’ve ever made

(via mamaleh6994)

reyairia:

reyairia:

A gameshow that forces male nerds into the unnecessarily sexualized outfits female video game characters have that they defend as “practical,” and then makes them do agility training

this had sixty notes last night

SIXTY NOTES

(via mamaleh6994)

spoopyphilia:

bloodyoathmate:

My mum’s friends at work are having a baby and their last name is watts so they were trying work out a name for it, i suggested 60 and they both looked confused so i said maybe 20 would suit them better 

image

(via standingupontheshouldersofgiants)

slytheringsnake:

my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”

and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered

"Maybe i need to use the sleep"

(via standingupontheshouldersofgiants)

justmargaret:

hiddenhogwarts:

After Fred died George developed a line of Cheering Chocolates, Nightmare Nougat and Memory Mallow for himself and others with PTSD. 

Eventually he expanded the line to Safe Silent Sparklers for those with sound sensitivities or triggers and Trigger Talismans which vibrate and block out sound when a trigger is said so that the wearer can leave. 

HEADCANON SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED, AND ACCEPTED.

(via theodette)

orlesiantrash:

lifeofaseamonster:

what

It’s a turkey

funkybug:

snailofficial:

agendr:

but how would a SNAIL react to the friendzone

The friendzone is a myth perpetrated by misogynists who use it to shame their female friends into sex. I am absolutely disgusted by it.

snails are truly upstanding citizens

(via fake-red-head)